zion

Im lost...

2008-07-02T11:36:00.001+02:00

...in this sea of humanity, with no one to call my own.

I find myself talking to inanimate objects around me,
hoping they would respond. But then again, who am I kidding?

Im lost...and I fear I won't find my own self...ever again.

About time I posted this...

2008-06-27T09:33:00.002+02:00

LOVE

So world doesn’t seem like a bad place after all. Now that you have all that you ever wanted in life; a great job, a loving family, and you also have found the love of your life. Life is so good! I mean what else could you wish for. There is nothing more soothing than the feeling of having someone so special that you could share your life with. Hmm… intimacy, togetherness…, love.

The mechanism of love works in a very strange way. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy proposes. Girl says “No”. Boy is sad. Girl is sad. Girl wishes she could set things right. Boy calls again. Girl says she needs to think (yeah right!!!). Boy keeps calling. Finally girl says “Yes”. Boy is happy. Girl is happy. And they live happily ever after or do they? Generally the part between boy proposes and happily ever after is left out, is guess due to emotional reasons.

The feeling of love, complete, satisfying, assuring, and to the most part misleading. Why? The deactivation of the façade that love builds is not easy. It is most elaborate, is this mirage. It shows a happy place, one that feels so nice that you don’t want to look away. But what is it that makes it an illusion and not the actuality. Most of us have felt it, but are too, let me say, afraid to discuss it. Fearing not for the repercussions, but the fallout.

Consider a simple thing. We, all mature people, find the person we are so into, so deeply involved with. We are in love. But are we? Isn’t it just the feeling of security; security that someone is there for you, security that you are not alone, security that you are like everyone else, security that someone likes you too; that keeps us, in love. If we take away all these feelings of being secure, will there still be, love?

I don’t say that there is nothing like true love, or the one who is made for you. Well, I do say something like this but exceptions are always there. People can be strange. So strange that they think you are the world to them. But, try to think and then ask yourself, how soon will they find someone else who is the world for them? You aren’t perfect. And if that someone else, manages to give the love of your life something that you either can’t or won’t or just not so clearly, give then that’s see you, bye, bye to the “love” that you hold so dear.

It happens. To more people than you can imagine. In more ways than you can think of. And for more weird reasons than humanly possible. Someone you love can be loved by someone else more. Someone you think of all day could just be even in someone’s dreams. So where does the love go? If you ask me, it passed on. You can’t have love forever. It moves on. Touches everyone in some way. So, what was it that we thought was ours forever? Where did that feeling go?

Most of who are reading this will be thinking. “What is this person talking about? This is not the way it works. I know because I am in love.” Sorry Sunny, the cruel fact is, it is true, and very much so. Shit happens man, and it happens right here when you are least prepared. And there is nothing you can do about it. There is something though. Keep your options open. Leave some space for you. If you are blind in love, you are most likely going to be crushed when the train of feelings passes over you. Because you won’t see it coming. This is the real world. Fairy tales do come true but only sometimes. And believe me that sometimes is really sometimes.

Love is...

2008-03-10T13:23:00.000+01:00

overrated...

The state of me

2008-03-03T12:08:00.008+01:00

Now where do I begin...

A lot of things have been happening. Too many for any one person to control. And consequently, quite a few of them have spiralled out of control. I am trying my best to get a grip on these, but as always...something always goes wrong.

Its been ages since I have been satisfied with my life. Just when it seems that things are going great, something happens which brings the house down. And then when I think that things cant get any worse...they do. And here I am now, seemingly caught up in so many situations that I dont know how to divide my priorities between them. And the worst part of it all is...Im on my own.

I spend my time juggling what best I can...but some things are just beyond my control. And trying to make those things happen only brings more anguish, and disgust. Even inspite of my best efforts...things are not concluding. They continue going on and nuances keep creeping up here and there. Then more time has to be spent in solving them and the task drags forward...painstakingly...slowly.

I look at everyone else around me and see the happinness in their eyes. I try to find peace in the thought that this will be me someday. But I know in my heart of hearts that I have been chasing this dream for far too long...and now I just have to accept my fate and just live my life like it is, like it has always been...In a constant and never-ending state of uncontrollable flux.

I long for peace.

I long for calmness in my heart.

I long for just that one voice of respite which says "Im here for you. Everything will be fine."

But as I said, this has been a fleeting dream that I am trying too hard to hold on to.

Its best to just...let go.

life...

2007-10-30T20:18:00.000+01:00

Cuz its a bittersweet...symphony...this life...
Trying to make ends meet...we're slaves to the money...

...then we die...

Ground control to Major Tom...

2007-10-18T12:31:00.000+02:00

Houston...bzzzzzzzzssshhhhh...we have a...bbbzzzzssssshhhhh...problem...bbbzzzzssshh...

Dazed...

2007-05-15T23:01:00.000+02:00

I spend my days in a trance...
And nights wide awake...

Is it just me ? Or has everything lost meaning ?

Is it possible ?

2007-02-20T19:53:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I wonder, how much do I love her ?
How much does she matter ?
Is there any way to find out ?
Can anyone show me something that deeper, stronger, more vast than the love that I have for her ?

I thought of the ocean, and all the infinite seas...Are they deep enough ?
No, I said to myself.
The depth in her eyes, is more.

I thought of the heavens, the countless stars...Is there something more infinite than that ?
Yes, I said to myself.
Everytime I see a star, I think of her, I make a wish and close my eyes.
I did this for days...until...one day...I opened my eyes and...I ran out of stars.

I thought of the riches, jewels and pearls, diamonds and rubies...all the splendour and lavish...Could there be something more desirable that those ?

Yes, I said to myself.
I would give them all up, if they were mine, just to see her smile once.

I thought of a lake...so sparkling and pure...so beautiful and tranquil...Can there be something more soothing than that ?

Yes, I said to myself.
I have felt her touch...
And there may be things that soothe me,
But not so much as her.

So gave up my search...
And told myself to understand...
There can be nothing else in this universe...
That I can love more.

The scariest part...yet...

2007-01-28T10:51:00.000+01:00

I always thought that people are generally scared of things like ghosts and demons...and dark places.

But I have experienced...a new kind of scare.

This kind of scare does not frighten you like the others...but it does shake you to your core...and makes you loose the sense of what to say...It does not make you scream...but yet you are not at ease with yourself...

Yesterday, I talked to my prospective mother-in-law for the first time.

Happy New Year ?

2007-01-03T09:40:00.000+01:00

Another year gone by, another year waiting in the wings...
I am not sure whether I should be happy or sad...
It is the new year...
Time for fun, for trying out new things, for new beginnings.

...

But then again, its a whole new year.

How I wish it was December'07 now...How I wish...

On a scale...

2006-12-27T14:18:00.000+01:00

...of 1 to 10, I miss her 100,000,000,000,000,000.....

:(

Love...

2006-12-04T09:42:00.000+01:00

"My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres,
Without sharp north, without declining west?

Whatever dies, was not mix'd equally;
If our two loves be one, or thou and I Love so alike
that none can slacken, none can die."

Tristan + Isolde

!

2006-12-01T13:51:00.000+01:00

Why ?

Nothing works...

2006-11-14T14:28:00.000+01:00

I tried a heavy dose of games the other weekend to get me out of this situation...Nothing works...Quake 4...Halo...NFS:Carbon...I dont feel like playing any of them right now...

This is going from bad to worse...I am missing her and the only thing that can cure me is being with her...and that is one thing that I am not able to do right now...

Ironically, I was the one who chose to come here in the first place...paradise...shamaradise...Its all useless...without her.

Will this pain ever stop ?

Timeless...

2006-11-11T11:08:00.000+01:00

Need I say more...

2006-11-08T16:09:00.000+01:00

Ctrl+Alt+Del

Why this ?

2006-11-03T11:23:00.000+01:00

Dear Lord,

Please don't do this to me. I beg of you. What have I done to be deserving this ?
Please Lord...please...

Me.

Those were the days...

2006-11-02T16:16:00.000+01:00

Huh...

2006-10-16T15:11:00.000+02:00

What Video Game Should You Be In? [Many outcomes! Pics!]

Max Payne
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Our Deepest Fear...

2006-09-16T20:04:00.000+02:00

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Nelson Mandela

Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to Love

The Land of the Blind...

2006-08-23T10:44:00.000+02:00

When I first heard that we will be going to a restaurant in Zurich...I wasn't expecting much. Only when a friend of mine told me that we are going to 'The Blind Cow', did things start looking up.

'BlindeKuh' or 'The Blind Cow' is a very special restaurant in Zurich. Whats so special about this place ? Well, apart from the fact that the entire staff, sans the cheif cook and the Receptionist, are blind, there is one more twist to this place. The conceptualist of this place , Mr. Joerg Spielmann, is blind. The idea of making people sighted experience the world like a person with no sight, was what brought this restaurant into being in 1999.

The restaurant offers the experience of eating in the dark. And by dark, I mean pitch dark. No light sources are allowed into the restaurant. Cell phones, illuminated watches, lighters etc... are all dissallowed. Smoking is not permitted. The guests are let into the entrance hall, which is lighted, where they make their choice of food from the menu written on the wall. For blind guests, the menu is read out. Once decided, the receptionist calls out a helper, who is blind, and then he/she leads all the guests, in a bee-line formation, first into a partially dark room to aquaint the eyes and then into the completely dark main seating hall. The helper then tells you his/her name and then you have to call out the name in case you need anything. The only respite from the darkness are the restrooms, where also you are led to by the helper.

So I reached there with my friends around 7:15 pm. We made the choice from a three course menu, A starter, the main course and a dessert. We were asked to put all out cell phones, luminiscient watches, lighters etc...in a locker in the entrance hall. Then a helper was called out to guide us inside. Her name was Sabeena. Sabeena could not see. She asked us to make a bee-line formation, like kids in kindergarden, and follow her.

After reaching inside the main hall, one thing was clearly evident, the place was dark. Completely and totally dark. There was not even a glimmer of light from anywhere. The experience of being in such a place, where it does not matter whether your eyes are closed or open, is exhilarating. Sabeena showed us to out seats and we were seated. We checked our relative positions by talking to each other and listening to the reply. That was the only way of knowing where people were seated. We could hear other people, eating, talking, laughing, but we could not see a thing.

The next challenge was making sure we knew the placement of the knives and forks and glasses. Once that was memorized, it wasnt much difficult. Although at times, we did take each others drinks. Food came. But managing to eat with a knife and fork was a major challenge. So, most of us decided to ignore the etiquette and eat with out hands. It did not make much difference as we could not see each other anyways. Filling the glasses with drinks was another challenge.

Towards the end of the evening, we were completely in awe of the helpers who were able to negotiate through the place, remember everyone's orders, and the placement of items on the tables.

A very old story came to mind. A sighted man is lost and reaches the land of the blind. And understands the handicap of being too dependent on sight.

For anyone who wishes to visit the place, which I highly recommend, here are the details :

Blindekuh
Muhlebachstrasse
148 8008 Zurich
Switzerland
Tel: 01 421 50 50
Fax: 01 421 50 55
www.blindekuh.ch

The menu is a la carte. A dinner that includes starter, main course and dessert, costs about 50 EUROS. Drinks are extra.

The place is generally full, so make the reservations well in advance.

Straight from the heart...

2006-08-09T16:33:00.000+02:00

While I lay here waiting to hear from you, I can't help thinking about what my life has become when you became a part of it. Waiting and wanting you has been the focus of my thoughts these days, knowing that one day, all that I have envisioned of us being together, will finally happen, even if it's just for a moment.

You give me reason to wake up in the morning and smile. Just smile for no particular reason except the fact that you are mine. As days go by I feel myself growing closer and closer and my heart is suddenly coming out of its shy spot and wanting to feel what it feels like to be loved. I don't ever want to lose this feeling. I don't ever want to lose you.

When I hear your voice, it's like a feeling I don't want to leave; you give me comfort and joy. The sound of your voice is like my favorite song, I can listen to it all night until it puts me to sleep. Yet, still as I continue to lay here and think about everything you are to me, and wonder if you are in the same moment too.

Still, I just want you to know that wherever this road may take us, and how far it may be to finally get where we want to go, always know you are in my heart and in my heart is where you'll always be. Life hasn't been this grateful to me, until there was you.

I Love You.

What I'd like to say next, I'd like to say to you personally.

Until then...

One of the best...

2006-08-08T10:06:00.000+02:00

Saw Revolver.
Was impressed.
Comes from the same stable as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

The man behind them is Guy Ritchie.

Simply Brilliant...the man and the movies.

Go & Watch. ASAP.

A Concorde Moment...

2006-07-31T10:54:00.000+02:00

The point :
"You might point out at this juncture that the McLaren F1 could top 240mph, but at that speed it was pretty much out of control. And anyway it really isn’t in the same league as the Bugatti. In a drag race you could let the McLaren get to 120mph before setting off in the Veyron. And you’d still get to 200mph first. The Bugatti is way, way faster than anything else the roads have seen."
Jeremy Clarkson - About the Bugatti Veyron

(Jeremy's Full review)

The Numbers :
Vehicle type: mid-engine, all-wheel-drive, 2-passenger, 2-door coupe
Base Price: € 1,000,000 (£810,000, 1,300,000 USD)
Engine type: quad-turbocharged and intercooled DOHC 64-valve W-16, aluminum block and heads, direct fuel injection
Displacement: 7998 cm³ (488 in³)

Performance ratings (C/D est):
Zero to 62 mph (100 km/h): 2.9 s
Zero to 100 mph (161 km/h): 6.0 s
Zero to 150 mph (241 km/h): 11.0 s
Zero to 200 mph (322 km/h): 22.0 s
Zero to 100 km/h: 2.8 s
Zero to 200 km/h: 7.3 s
Zero to 300 km/h: 16.7 s
Top speed (observed at governor): 253 mph (407 km/h)

Projected fuel economy (C/D est):
EPA city driving: 7 mpg U.S. (34 L/100 km)
EPA highway driving: 10 mpg U.S. (24 L/100 km)
Steady 253 mph (409 km/h): 2.1 mpg U.S. (112 L/100 km)

The car : The Bugatti Veyron 16.4

I am bamboozelled...and impressed...majorly impressed.

Talk about getting it all...

2006-07-28T11:14:00.000+02:00

I am really bugged about this now. What did the French do to be so lucky ?

Check what the Lucky B's get...

Tyler Durden is right...

2006-07-28T10:48:00.000+02:00

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

A Fool's due...

2006-07-20T22:05:00.000+02:00

I have managed to hurt the one person in this entire creation who matters to me. I know this is not forgiveable. But Dear Lord, for all the good that I have ever done and will ever do in this life and the next, I ask just one thing...Her Love. My life has no meaning without her and so please god grant me this one happiness.

And give me sense not to hurt her ever again...

Amen.

An Old Laugh...

2006-07-18T16:43:00.000+02:00

Category : Movie
Name : The Gods must be crazy I & II
Cast : N!xau, Marius Weyers, Sandra Prinsloo...
My View : These movies came out in the 1980s. I faintly remembered some scenes from the two and so I decided to watch them again. And I was not disappointed. One of the most down-to-earth comedies that I have ever seen. The two movies are about a bushman, Xixo, and his family living in the Kalahari. In the first part, he finds an empty coke bottle. Being used to living off the earth, he has no idea what that is or what to do with it. He takes it home and soon the bottle becomes indispensible for his family, so much so that they start having arguments over who gets to use it. These simple people do not know the concept of violence, swearing and all. So, petrified by what he sees, he decides that the "thing" is evil and must be thrown off the end of the earth. The movie follows his journey and the people he meets on the way. The funny bit is in the simplistic, everyday activities and not in something really out of the ordinary. The movie tries to potray the viewpoint of the bushman and how different he feels the modern way of life is. There is a side plot in the movie which tells the story of a lady-teacher who has recently been sent to Botswana and a Researcher, who is living there and how he falls for her and all the clumsiness that goes with that.

In the second part, Xixo's two kids get lost. They see strange tracks on the ground one day and they follow the tracks which lead to a rig towing a water tank behind it. Since they have never seen so much water, they assume that this "animal" is producing the water. They jump in to have a drink, but the rig starts off. The movie then follows them and their father, Xixo, as he tries to find his kids. The second part is not so Xixo centric as the first but is funny nonetheless. The side plot in this one follows two doctors who are out on a small plane, which runs out of gas and gets caught a tree in the middle of the Kalahari. Then we are amused by their antics and how they manage to get back to civilization.

The good part about both the movies is that the main and the sub-plots are interestingly, and funnily, intermingled...while keeping the main character in focus at all times.

I would highly recommend this movie. Its a must watch for anyone who likes simple comedies. A good watch in general.

Some things never change...

2006-06-26T14:28:00.000+02:00

Year : 2002
Location : RAIT Campus Canteen, Nerul, Navi Mumbai
Situation : Eating Vada Pav and drinking Masala Tea.

Year : 2006
Location : Engelberg, Switzerland
Situation : Eating Vada Pav and drinking Masala Tea.

Some things never change...

Funny...

2006-06-21T16:22:00.000+02:00

One of the best videos I have seen in a long time...

The Evolution Of Dance

Evolution...

2006-06-21T11:00:00.000+02:00

Ahem...

2006-06-20T17:21:00.000+02:00

Hmmm...

2006-06-20T17:19:00.000+02:00

Him : Um-oh...
Me : Hmmm....

Copyright Gospel Communications International, Inc -
www.reverendfun.com

Tigger...

2006-06-20T17:06:00.000+02:00

I have a pet now. 'Tigger'. He is in the sidebar. You can play around with him and even feed him.

Later...

The Story so far...

2006-06-15T14:18:00.000+02:00

April, 1998...

How it all started...
Him : "Why did u mend my notebook?"
Her : "Arey, can I let a colleague's notebook be like this?"

What went on...
Him : "I do not know what you think about me but...I love you."
Her : "I knew this was coming. I cannot get into a relationship right now."

September, 1999...

The first sign of a new beginning...
Him : "Do you love me?"
Her : "I cant say now. There are people around."
Him : "Okay, 1 for yes and 2 for no."
Her : "[gigle]I have a class at 1."
Him : "What ?"

May, 2000...

The beginning of a long wait...
Him : "I have to move out for studies."
Her : "But you will come back, right ?"
Him : "Yes, definitely. I love you a lot."

July, 2000...

His first mistake...he should have come back.
Her : "Give me your list when you are finished."
Him : "Umm..yes."

His second mistake. He should have been with her.
Him : "Hello, Girls Hostel connect karengey please."
Someone : "Kaun Paijey ? ".
Him : "[her name]".
Someone : "Thehro".
Her : "Hello, what took you so long?"
Him : I'm sorry. How are you ?"
Her : "Not fine. I am feeling lonely here."
Him : "I wish I could do something."

There was a card in the mail. It was from her. It said : "I LOVE U".

They should have been together...
Him : "Hello, how are you?"
Her : "I am alone here. And I miss you like anything."
Him : "I miss you too."

He screwed up...
Him : "Hello."
Her : "Where have you been? It has been so long since you called."
Him : "Sorry, I couldnt call. blah blah blah...Try to understand."
Her : "Okay, but I miss you a lot...please dont do this again."
Him : "Never."

But he did...again...
Her : "Where have you been?"
Him : "Sorry...blah blah blah"

And again...
Him : "blah blah blah"

September, 2003...

So finally...The mother of all mistakes...letting her go.
Her : "This is not working out."
Him : "Are you sure?"
Her : "Yes, you have left me with no choice."
Him : "Fine."

July, 2005...

I have no words for this...
Her : "Hello."
Him : "Hi, how are you?"
Her : "I am fine...but how could u not call?"
Him : "You made a choice."
Her : "There were reasons for that."
Him : "Im sorry, there is someone else now."
Her : "But what about me?"
Him : "Sorry."
Her : "[crying] I love you."
Him : [Hang up]

May, 2006...

All is well...
Him : "Hi, How are you?"
Her : "I am fine. How are you?"
Him : "I want to clear things between us."
Her : "Sure. Why not ? "
Him : "blah blah blah"
Her : "I love u."
Him : "I love u too."
Him : "Will you marry me?"
Her : "YES."

Unknown Date...

Him : "Hurry up".
Her : "Wait a sec...[guy-kid-name] is not wearing his shoes."
Him : "[girl-kid-name] ! Come on, lets go. We'll wait for them in the car."
Her : "Okay, all done. Lets go."
Him : "[car door shuts] You look lovely, I love you. [kiss]"
Her : "I love you too [smile], but we're getting late.
[car pulling out]

People might grow apart...sometimes both sides involved do, but the thing that keeps them going is love.
There was love, a lot of it. Thats what brought them together...and will keep them together for ever.

Why...

2006-06-08T10:56:00.000+02:00

Why can't I be like a rock? Why is it that I am bothered by everything and everyone around me, by things that happen and by things that don't? Why can't I be like the air? Why do I have to care about every next person I come across? Why can't I just ignore? Why am I affected so easily by things? Why can't I be impervious? Why am I made like this? Why...Why...WHY???

Review Update...

2006-06-06T15:05:00.000+02:00

Again its been sometime since I have posted some reviews. This time though, I will include some games as well. So here goes...

Category : Game
Name : Half Life 2: Aftermath
Cast : Gordon Freeman, Alyx Vance, Barney Calhoun...
My View : The game continues with the story of Half-life 2 and talks mainly about the characters at the end of HL2 and the events that occur as a result of their actions in HL2. As far as the game is concerned, it is on the same engine as HL2. So the graphics and gameplay are, undoubtedly, top-notch. The only downer is that there is no new aspect to gameplay. There is one sequence where Gordon and Alyx are in a basement of a building and hordes of zombies etc... come from all directions. And since it is dark, there is extensive use of the flashlight which, discharges very fast...so you end up in the dark with just voices and flashes of light. Interesting sequence but for me the only high-point of this episode. Hope the people at 'valve' can come up with something more creative in the next episode.

Category : Movie
Name : United 93
Cast : Christian Clemenson, Trish Gates, Gary Commock...
My View : With all the hype that has been surrounding the movies about 911, I was really looking forward to this one. And it paid off. The movie is, simply put, Amazing. The way it depicts the whole turn of events on September 11, 2001 is awesome. On one hand, it raises serious doubts about the military preparedness of the States. But, on the other hand, if the events depicted in the movie even honestly resemble what happenned on that day, Afganistan was totally justified. And I think it was too less...much more should have been done. All in all, a truly heart-rendering movie and a must watch.

Category : Movie
Name : X Men : The Last Stand
Cast : Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Sir Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen...
My View : A typical comic-book adaptation. A lot of High-flying, Gravity-defying, Superhuman stuff. Typical X-Men. Nothing very surprising or interesting in this one. A good thrill for once. And I seriously doubt this being the last one in the series.

Category : Movie
Name : Being Cyrus
Cast : Saif Ali Khan, Nasseeruddin Shah, Dimple Kapadia, Boman Irani, Simone Singh...
My View : I did not know there were people in the Indian film industry capable of pulling off a film like this. The movie is damn good. With actors like Naseeruddin Shah and Dimple Kapadia...I would not settle for anything less. The storyline is very dramatic...with events unfolding every 15 minutes or so. Another good thing about the movie...No Songs...and for a bollywood production that is a very-very bold thing to do. Maybe this is the scene of things to come. Maybe. Well I hope so. We need more movies like this for sure.

Category : Movie
Name : Running Scared
Cast : Paul Walker, Cameron Bright, Vera Farmiga, Alex Neuberger, Ivana Milicevic...
My View : First of all, this movie is rated 'R'. So that tells a lot about the content. The movie is about a guy who is caught up in the underworld. But he wants to keep his back covered by keeping some 'pieces' of the crimes so that he has leverage later on. All hell breaks lose when one of the 'pieces' is lost from his possession and the movie follows him trying to retrieve this missing 'piece' before his gang-friends find out about it. The movie is extremely graphic, violent and uses abusive-language. But the plot-twists are well held together. A good watch, I suppose, just not in front of the kids...or even parents for that matter. ;)

Category : Movie
Name : Flight 93
Cast : Brennan Elliott, Ty Olsson, Jerry Wasserman...
My View : Told on similar lines to United 93. The movie focusses more on that particular flight and the lives of all people affected by that. A similar story told in a slightly different way. But I felt that the characterization was weaker in this one. Anyhow, a good watch.

More later.

Dilemma...

2006-06-01T13:54:00.000+02:00

Things are too messed up around here for my taste...I do not know how long I can exist here...There is way too much stuff that could affect me...I do not want to be like them...I want to stay 'me'.

Avoid...

The Clue...

2006-05-25T00:39:00.000+02:00

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy also talks about love. It says, "Avoid if at all possible."

What if...

2006-05-25T00:35:00.000+02:00

"Curiously the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, 'Oh no, not again.' "

If only things could be so simple...

Hilarious...

2006-05-22T16:27:00.000+02:00

I am still recovering from this one...
Didnt your mom warn you?

Reply to "there are no words"...

2006-05-17T09:18:00.000+02:00

This is in reply to this : there are no words

The thing about reservation is that it is way, way over-rated. It was supposed to be just a spark, not a fire. Reservations are provided to people, who because of various social / political / economic / etc reasons are not able to compete with the mainstream. Thats the idea. It is to help them stand up. But just that. No more. It should be withdrawn soon after that.

Coming from the J&K, this fact is much evident to me. After facing all the "crap" that we did, the least that the government could do is allow our people to not be left behind as far as the mainstream professions were considered. And the Govt. in Maharashtra did just that and we are much more than just thankful. But the reason there was much more economic than political. And I am of the personal opinion that it is enough now. 10 years is more than enought time for any community to re-build itself. It should stop now. It should have stopped 5-6 years ago.

About the reservations on caste basis, it stemmed out after independence as India was a much more "caste-driven" state then. It was decided that in order to give the "lower-castes" a fair chance, this had to be done. But that was more than 50 years ago. The present india is much more forward-thinking than it was 50 years ago and there is no reason for ideas that were implemented then to be kept in force now.

Now comes the fact that the goverenment wants to introduce reservation in premier professional colleges. I say, the damage has already been done. With reservation already in force in most of the professional colleges around the country, I do not think it will make much of a difference to do the same in some 'premier institutes'. The volume of students churned out every year by the non-premier institues is already massive in comparison. The worst it will do is that it will make the cream sour.

Even if this reservation in the premier institutes is not introduced, we already have a problem on our hands. The solution is not to protest this. The solution is to make the government do away with the whole reservation system, or atleast its current form. And this, I am afraid, is a very-very big fish to fry.

I do not know how long it will take, but until the system is revamped from the inside-out, it does not make much of a difference who does what.

The past is staging a comeback...

2006-05-11T14:37:00.000+02:00

Its back.

Although I have not decided what to do with it yet...but its back nonetheless. I know what happenned the last time...and this time I plan to be cautious...but I suspect thats not going to help much.

Lets give this one more try.

Life...or something unlike it...

2006-05-09T11:48:00.000+02:00

I am bored today. The reason is dependencies. We have so many dependencies at work that even if one of the associated factions is not able to function properly, we are left with no choice but to wait for it to fuction again...and that is frustrating. There is nothing that we can do about it other than reminding them over and over again about the importance of the timeliness of the work that we are doing and why they need to be up and running very very soon.

This is life I guess. If one thing in your life is not functioning properly, things grind to a halt. Nothing moves forward...nothing goes on. I have no idea why, but this makes me think sometime if I have made this happen to me or if I have just landed into this state of affairs.

That being said, all I want is to be happy...with me and things around me...but that is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. There is no definite process...there are no rules...just you and everything else. You have to figure it out on your own...and that is a scary thought...you only know that you are wrong when its too late and when things dont actually turn around the way you intended them to. It would be really nice the other way around...if you could define everything that happens around you and not be driven by it. Life would be so simple then...things would be much more easier and fun.

I think I wont be going there today. I do not want people to judge me, and that is what they do most of the time. I will have to think of a good reason not to be there. But I do not think I will come up with one good enough to get me out of this conjuncture. I guess I will just have to make myself go there and face it all...crap.

If there were a way that I could get out, it would make me happy. But I do not think there is. Or maybe I am not looking hard enough.

Damn, I think too much.

Going with the trend...

2006-05-05T09:58:00.000+02:00

Now that everyone is cutting and pasting stuff from mails...I thought I should also give it a go. So here is something I found rather interesting...

Rising Stock Markets Philosophy
Once upon a time in a village a man appeared who announced to the villagers that he would buy all size of monkeys for Rs. 10. The villagers were really thrilled and they went into the forest to catch monkeys. The man bought thousands at 10 and as supply started to diminish and villagers started to stop their effort of doing anything else then he announced that now he would buy at 20 rupees.

This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer rate increased to 25 and the supply of monkeys became so that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business he said his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the clever assistant told the villagers "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at 35 and when the man comes back you can sell it to him for 50."

The villagers queued up with all their saving to buy the monkeys.

Phir na woh aadmi mila na us ka assistant........... Sirf bandar hee bandar........

Semi-colon...

2006-04-25T13:03:00.000+02:00

I have done it to myself.

I have cut me off from the rest of the world. The only connection I have with the world is through the internet. I do not spend time with friends anymore. I do not go out and party. I am miles and miles away from anyone who is even remotely family. I am killing myself with a large dose of solitude. I used to like being alone but now it feels like no one wants me around. Its agonising and painful. As of this moment, I do not have a life anymore.

This is freakish...

This is not good...

2006-04-25T12:32:00.000+02:00

This has happenned before. As of now, I don't want to do anything. Nothing at all. I'm bored with the constant activities that I participate in and do not want any more of them for now. I want to take a break. But then this weekend was a break but still I did not want to do anything specific. I did not want to go out, neither did I want to stay home. I did not want to play any games...I even did not want to watch anything. The state of not wanting to do anything is worrying because I am not sure what to do when I do not want to do anything. Maybe I should try lying around doing nothing and then maybe I will gather enough urge to do something...or maybe I won't. But its worth a shot.

Hope it passes...soon.

Boredom and Paintbrush...

2006-04-21T16:34:00.000+02:00

And this is the result...

Case in point : The Mitsubishi Evo III

Before :

After :

My current desktop...

2006-04-19T20:38:00.000+02:00

:)
See if u can count the number of games...

Interesting read...

2006-04-19T14:42:00.000+02:00

This is an interesting article : Manna
The imagination is laudable.

PS : Finally started reading my 'Lord of the Rings'. I have had this book for over one and a half year now and have not gotten around to reading it yet. Although I am not much of a reader, but still I loved the movie and the Book is already promising to be better. I guess its the sheer size of the thing that was preventing me from taking it on. I think I am ready to give it a go...

Review Update...

2006-04-18T16:48:00.000+02:00

Had a lot of time on my hands this weekend. Although did not see so many movies, but did get around to notching up a few.

Movie : Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Cast : Val Kilmer, Robert Downey Jr., Michelle Monaghan...
My View : I have only one word : 'crap'. What were they thinking ?

Movie : Corpse Bride
Cast : Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Emily Watson...(voices)
My View : I was truly looking forward to this one. I had an expectation from this one. But sadly, it did not live up to it. The movie is okay but it lacks that 're-visit' factor. You can sit through it once (although took me two sittings to finish it). A one-time watch...just barely.

More later.

More Reviews...

2006-04-13T09:57:00.000+02:00

Movie : Jarhead
Cast : Jake Gylenhall, Jamie Foxx, Peter Sarsgaard, Scott MacDonald...
My View : Another war movie. Only this time, its different. The movie never touches the actual war but revolves around it. Some laughs here and there. The movie tries to depict the inside of the head of a US Scout Sniper during the Gulf War. A different perspective, draws inspiration from Born on the Forth of July, I think.

Movie : Lord of War
Cast : Nicholas Cage, Bridget Moynahan, Ethan Hawke, Jared Leto, Eamonn Walker...
My View : The opening on the village floor laced with bullet casings is catchy. Nicholas Cage is flawless. The movie is about a Ukranian-settled-in-US guy, Yuri Orlov. And how he makes it big in the Amrs Dealing business. The various people he comes into contact with, his love, his family etc...And finally in the end what becomes of him and all others around him. A very interesting watch.

Immense...

2006-04-12T17:58:00.000+02:00

Was going through this. It is an article that talks about a research done about the capacity of the human brain in terms of memory. Incidentally, a normal human brain can store the position of every ATOM in the entire UNIVERSE since the BIG BANG till NOW, and more that it can do this for 10 to the power of 8000 such universes. Whew !!!
But the writer wonders then why can't he remember the phone number of his wife ???

This made me think. I had read somewhere that humans normally use less than 10% of the brain's power. There might be different reasons for this. Probably we do not use the rest coz we do not know how to, or maybe we know but still we don't. I am not sure. But the concept is interesting...Just like there is a part of the brain that is used for reading and we use that part when we read...and we do this coz we have been taught how to.

Consider this, maybe there is some part of the brain that is responsible for Telekinesis...or ESP...or even flying...but we do not know how to trigger that part...and we have not been taught...What if someone figured out how to ? Would open up a whole realm of possibilities. The human Brain is an interesting piece of engineering.

Remarkable.

Reviews...

2006-04-12T11:41:00.000+02:00

I have been watching quite a few movies in the recent past and although this does not qualify me for writing any kind of review, I would like to ebb out a few lines based on what I think about these...

Movie : Crash
Cast : Matt Damon, Sandra Bullock, Terrence Howard, Don Cheadle, Brenden Fraiser, Ludacris...
My View : The movie is good. A painstakingly real life take on the prevalent racial outlook in the Americas. A good watch if you do not have any problems watching people talking about different ethinicites in various views. A movie well done.

Movie : The Pink Panther
Cast : Steve Matrin, Jean Reno, Kevin Kline, Beyonce Knowles...
My View : One word : Martin. The movie is hilarious. Steve Martin as Instpector Clouseau is funny. The "new look" Jean Reno is good. Beyonce as the dame in distress is well done. Altogether a nice weekend watch.

Movie : Cheaper By the Dozen 2
Cast : Steve Martin, Eugene Levy, Carmen Electra...
My View : A usual "Father-children-antics" movie. Hilarious in episodes. Nicely handled by Steve Martin. Eugene Levy is...hhmm...not so aptly utilized. Carmen Electra is different, not what you would expect. A one-time-watch movie nonetheless.

Movie : Get Rich or Die Tryin
Cast : 50 Cent, Terrence Howard, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje...
My View : A tale of a young black african-american male and his dreams of making it big in the music, read Gangsta-Rap, business. Well knitted story, good moments, 50 Cent does well as Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson. A lot of offensive language and "bad words". Enjoyable at times.

Movie : King Kong
Cast : Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody, Andy Serkis...
My View : Peter jackson does it again !!! What are you waiting for ?

Movie : Syriana
Cast : George Clooney, Matt Damon, Jeffrey Wright, Chris Cooper...
My View : Interesting take on a variety of modern world issues. Oil Crisis, company Politics, Middle-East worker class issues and outlooks, American Intelligence way-of-life, The Sheikhs...A good watch, makes you think about a few things. A not-so-superhuman intelligence agent potrayal by Clooney. You should see this.

Movie : Chicken Little
Cast : Zach Braff, Garry Marshall, Don Knotts, Patrick Stewart, Steve Zahn, John Cusack...(all voices)
My View : "The Sky is falling" revisited. Only this time, an...err...logical explanation is given. Chicken Little is fun, with his buddies Abby, Runt...Always getting into trouble or creating it and then getting into it. A nice animated feature. A good laugh.

Movie : Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Cast : Peter Sallis, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter...
My View : I am a big W&G fan. The movie continues the tradition of the bloke and his trusty companion. A good animated feature with some interestingly thought of gadgets. An excellent watch if you are a W&G fan, a good one if you like such genres in genreal.

Movie : Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Cast : Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Kirsten Dunst, Elijah Wood, Mark Ruffalo...
My View : Although this movie is not actually the latest in line, but even then I figure this deserves a mention here. The movie deals with an offbeat subject with a sci-fi twist. Even so, it has a real side to it. The movie has been wonderfully made and most of it is really heart-rendering. Redefines the concept of love and all related and the not-so-good factors involved. I suggest a watch, definitely.

Movies to be watched : Good Night and Good Luck, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Capote, The World's Fastest Indian, Corpse Bride...

Till later.

Lost in Space...

2006-04-12T11:37:00.000+02:00

Timeline : April, 2004.
Available space : 10 GB.
Outlook : Enough space to last for a while...

Timeline : April, 2006.
Available space : 535 GB.
Outlook : Enough space to last for a while...

Ironic...

Addendum...

2006-04-11T15:59:00.000+02:00

My latest gadget...a WD My School Book 250GB External Hard Drive...the space problem is solved...for now...

Just a thought...

2006-04-04T15:59:00.000+02:00

How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot...
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

Kirsten Dunst (Mary) - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

From Eloisa to Abelard
by Alexander Pope (1688-1744)

Most likely, the state of me right now...

2006-03-31T11:05:00.000+02:00

...

Affirmative may be justified
Take from one give to another
The goal is to be unified
Take my hand be my brother
The payment silenced the masses
Sanctified by oppression
Unity took a backseat
Sliding further in regression

One The only way is one
I feel angry I feel helpless
Want to change the world
I feel violent I feel alone
Don't try and change my mind

Society blind by color
Why hold down one to raise another
Discrimination now on both sides
Seeds of hate blossom further
The world is heading for mutiny
When all we want is unity
We may rise and fall, but in the end
We meet our fate together

One The only way is one
I feel angry I feel helpless
Want to change the world
I feel violent I feel alone
Don't try and change my mind

...

Creed - One

If only I could turn back time...

2006-03-28T16:05:00.000+02:00

Going through a phase in my life where things start to really matter, where it is no longer childish ambitions or youthful flings...
when things start making more sense than they are supposed to...when people stall falling into categories at the instant...
It is a strange time...nothing seems to be happening without there being any reason for it...we do not do anything just because we want to...its either because we have to or because someone has to...

I crave for the time when all the complications were not there...when all I was worried about was that it should not
rain when I am playing cricket in the lawn...or even if it does...Mom should not notice me playing in the rain...that was it !!!

But the cricket, the rain and the lawn are all left back...far back...I have moved on...but a part of me is still sitting in the back of the bus...looking at the rear window and wondering why did things have to change...It was better that way...much much better.

Again...

2006-03-20T11:52:00.000+01:00

Life...goes up...goes down...goes round and round...

It has been quite a while since I've had time to sit and think about my life...to look back...reflect...perspect...introspect...I do not understand sometimes why life can be such a difficult darling...Almost everyone manages to screw it up...me included. It seems to be very strong...yet so fragile...so hard yet so mellow...puzzles me everytime...

I had been quietly living it on...ignoring any warnings of an impending disaster...putting my head in the sand and pretending not to listen to the noise of what was coming...but it did happen...yet again...Life plays its "You can't win me" card...checkmate...just like that...

I wonder sometimes that it would be easier if you just go with the flow...don't crank up those sails to go where you want to...just let it carry you on...maybe that would be easier...maybe thats it...let it win and u r fine...show resistance and woapaah !!!

...And when I’m gone, just carry on don’t mourn,
rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice,
Just know that I’m lookin’ down on you smilin',
And I didn’t feel a thing so baby don’t feel no pain, just smile back...

sigh

Acquisitions...

2006-03-10T11:52:00.000+01:00

I seem to have developed a unquenching thirst for technology.
About a year ago, I had nothing except for my cellphone...a humble nokia 3530...and look at me now.

It all started when I wanted to "upgrade" my cell phone. It was December, 2004. After some self-evaluations...I settled for a nokia 6600...my dream since college.

And then, I found the marvel called "bluetooth". Although I had heard about it, even crammed pages and pages about what it is and how it works, but had never seen it in action. So, I decided, I can't be left ignorant. I went out and bought a USB bluetooth adapter, a USB Dongle, as it is more popularly called, from Bangalore.
This was the early February, 2005. After understanding the marvels of bluetooth and trying almost everything bluetooth-ly possible, I grew beyond it.

About June, was the time when I moved to Switzerland. After getting here, the first thing in my mind was a laptop.
After some homework and all, I finally settled for a Dell Inspiron 6000 Platinum,
the love of my life. I can go on and on about how it has become indispensible for me but that will be another post. It is like "Buy it, hold it, love it."

Moving on, although there was enough storage space to go around, I still needed a flexible , light weight mode of data transfer.
So, again I went on the hunt and returned with a 1 GB Samsung Flash Drive.
Although quite small, this little thing has got me out of some really complex suituations.

As my adventures on the net started growing from a few hours a day to days together, I decided that I needed something extra. I needed a warehouse! So, to this end, and with the help of my trusted buddy, Rups, I went out again. Only this time,
I returned with something big ! A Mevis 200 GB external HDD,
it has all the space that I will need for the near forseeable future.

After all these escapades into the tech jungle, I felt provided, yet not content. There was something missing. Something handy, something useful.
Something...like a 4 GB Creative Zen Micro.
So there I was, with a Micro in my hand and Creed flowing into my ears, wondering
why did I not do this earlier. It is a must-have gadget for everyone.

So thats the story, the evolution from a gadget-rookie to a pro-gadget-eer. But this is definitely not the end.
More will come as time will tell. And I will be ready then...

Tagged...

2006-02-15T12:56:00.000+01:00

A tag it is then...

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

Radmila
Riri
SEV
Anita
Ashish

Next select five people to tag

Arunima
Sabah
Kriti
Abeer

All others are already taken... :(

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Was in 8th Grade...used to wonder what it would be like to be independent...now I know. :)

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Working...had just started...getting used to life out of home.

Five snacks you enjoy
Salted peanuts (Everyone likes these)
French fries
Indian pakodas
Chocolates (duh !!! )
Chicken wings

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
Until I find u again - Richard Marx
Words - Boyzone
Saddi Jaan - Nachattar Gill (Punjabi)
I'm Eighteen - Creed
The Reason - Hoobastank

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Buy a Beach side Mansion complete with a pool and an exclusive game room and what not...
Buy the Ferrari Enzo (Dont think that would fit in the million though)
Buy all the PC game titles ever publised
Chill...(seriously)
Buy a house in the Swiss alps. :)

Five bad habits:
Biting nails
Smoking
Being too blunt (I have that one too)
Spending too much time gaming
Spending money like crazy

Five things you like doing:
Gaming (duh!!!)
Driving
Listening to Music...anytime
Taking time out for me...
Spending time with my family

Five things you would never wear again:
Formals...yuck...
Bright coloured shirts
Any kind of jewellery or accessories
Torn jeans
Frown... :)

Five favorite toys:

My RC Truck...love it.
My Laptop...Dell 6000 Platinum
My G.I.JOE collection
My cell phone...Nokia 6600...old but I love it.
My HE-MAN action figure. :) Yes, I have one.

Which Classic Movie are you ?

2006-02-15T12:52:00.000+01:00

Thanks to anita

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

For no particular reason...

2006-01-31T16:51:00.000+01:00

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

(Hoobastank - The Reason)

Expanding horizons...

2006-01-20T12:45:00.000+01:00

Went out last weekend, originally looking for a camcorder, didn't find one I liked...guess I need to do some more R&D before actually getting one.

But I did not return empty handed. I went down to Carrefour and bought myself GTA- San Andreas. Not that I hate the game, but I am dissappointed...okay this will be another post someday.

Besides that, I also got me an External Hard Disk. 200GB of space. This feels GOOD. No more deleting stuff just because I run out of space. Hah, thats history now.

So what did I do? Moved about 25GB of music, F.R.I.E.N.D.S season 10 + specials, some 2-3 GB of softwares, and what not to the new disc. My laptop now has..."Free Space"...kewl.

More later.

Relative Reality...

2006-01-17T11:15:00.000+01:00

Taken forward from a previous discussion...

Real, is just a word. But what is real? How do you know that what you think is real is just something that has been preceived as real and is actually not?

Look at the mirror. What do you see? An image of yourself right? But is it just so simple? Is the mirror showing you just what you are or are you perceiving the image in the mirror as something you recognize? As something you know? What if the mirror just shows you something that you cannot perceive and what you see is just how your brain, based on the available information, decides to interpret it? Imagine looking at something that you do not know what is? How do you decide then? Say, a baby looks at the mirror and sees something? It cannot interpret it as something that is in its knowledge, simply because the knowledge it has is limited at that point. So it looks for explanations. And the closest to what it can be, based on logic and reasoning, is that what it is can be explained by someone who already knows this phenomenon. And so it is interpreted as a "Reflection of self".

The fundamental interpretation here is but flawed. No one actually knows what the mirror does? People just interpret it based on logic and reasoning. And that logic and reasoning comes from information acquired by someone who has encountered this phenomenon already. What if someone were to see something other than themselves in the mirror? What then? It seems hard to believe that this can happen, but is it not already? Is it not actually happening?

We have senses that have evolved over the ages. These senses define how we perceive the world around us. What if tommorrow, someone with a hightened sense, discovers that what our feeble senses pereceive is not actually the correct intertpretation. It is flawed. Just like our eyes can see the stars, but that does not mean that the universe is just that. It just means that our senses are limited in their capability to interpret information. And that if the senses were augmented in some way, there is not telling how the workd would look like?

So again, what is real?

Shadows in the Darkness

2006-01-11T11:23:00.000+01:00

Silence, oblivious silence...but then noises...voices...echoes...from the past...present and the future...I cannot think...I cannot concentrate...there is a rush...no time...Seems like this is the end of it all...the end of time...

Nothing can be more terrifying...more threatening than things inside that can come out...and manifest into events...into beings of impractical might...an uncontrollable force...that gathers merriment and devours it...

I cannot fight them...for they are me...they came from within me...but now they threaten my very existence...Is there a way ? Is there some way ?

Not enough of this...

2006-01-03T17:13:00.000+01:00

Over the weekend...we were watching FRIENDS, Season 8 on Saturday and a part of Sunday...Season 9 on remaining Saturday and yesterday...The last one in Season 9 finished with Joey and Rachel kissing...and that was all we had...We had gone through Seasons 8 and 9 and we still were not satisfied...we wanted to see the 10th season.

But as luck would have had it...we hadn't brought any Season 10 DVDs from the library...damn...but there was a way...

I turned to my trusty laptop for help...A 1 mbps line, Two hours and an evening with Morpheus later...I had almost the entire Season 10 on my laptop.

Then was Nero time, burn the first two episodes onto a CD-RW and presto !!!

We managed to watch the first two episodes of Season 10...

It was by that time we realised that it was time to call it a day...enuf technology for a day...not enuf of FRIENDS though...only if the next day was not a working day...

Cocktails & Dreams...

2005-12-22T10:50:00.000+01:00

Last Night....

Beer...

Gin Tonic...

Tequila...

Gin Tonic...

Magic Drink (50%Red V + 25%White V + 12.5%Malibu + 12.5%Orange-Juice)...

Magic Drink...

Havanna Club...

Gin Tonic...

Gin Tonic...

Don't remember much after that...

Zoinked...

Of the Past and all things then...

2005-12-21T14:15:00.000+01:00

Saw DCH yesterday, for about the gazillionth time...

Its very strange that everytime I see that movie I start contemplating about friends, college, back then when life was without any nuisances. I do not know why but I do it every single time. Everytime I see it , I decide that this time I am not going to think about anything but eventually I try to rationalise to myself that I miss all that and that I should be thinking about it.

Its amazing how you can rationalise things to yourself...convince yourself about something that you only thought of...but it is one the hardest things to do coz you will always know all the arguments and the counter-arguments...

Maybe its a way in which we try to accept things...but then again, maybe its just me !!!

Wonder...

Rate your life...

2005-12-16T10:44:00.000+01:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.6
Mind:	7.1
Body:	3.7
Spirit:	7.5
Friends/Family:	6.2
Love:	6.9
Finance:	8.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Interesting...

Games : To or Not To...

2005-12-12T14:36:00.000+01:00

It just occured to me that I have never (ever) put a post about the thing I LOVE to do most...Game !!! So here is some of my game-ology :

Game Genres I like :
First Person Shooters(FPS)
Arcade Games (esp. ones in top down view)
Strategy (AOE et all)

Game Genres I hate :
Superhero games (Spiderman, Batman, Crap-man....)
Simulations
All games ending in ...Tycoon (:P)

Games I started out with : (about 6 yrs ago)
Half-life
RollCage
Age of Empires

Games I am totally for :
Half-life (all versions : Blue Shift, Opposing Force, Uplink)
Max Payne (only 1....I think 2 sucked...)
Serious Sam (1 and 2..go go croteam)
Grand Theft Auto (.....err dont think...all of them)
Need For Speed 3 Hot Pursuit
Age of Empires (1 and Roman Expansion....don't like Kings and Conquerors that much.. :P)
Star Trek Armada
and the immortal - Quake (2 mostly).

Games I am gaming on now :
Half Life 2
(Amazing gameplay, gr8 graphics, but more system requirements as opposed to the hl1 :( )

Alien Shooter
(One light weight arcade style game from some developer called SIGMA team. Gr8 game...try it if u have not. You can find it at reflexive.com)

Crimsonland
(Another light weight arcade style game. Personally liked it better that Alien Shooter, same plot. And you can also find it at reflexive.com)

Games I will get :
GTA - San Andreas
Quake 4
F.E.A.R.

Game on...

Escapade

2005-12-06T13:45:00.000+01:00

Here are some images from a place called Engelberg in Switzerland. A very popular ski-destiantion. Had been there with some friends over the weekend. A few shots here and there...a few from my cell-cam and a few from my friends digi-cam.

A camera-savvy mountaion.

Engelberg from up top.

The Hotel I was staying at.

Lead of a local band playing at a local bar...The bar is called 'Ucatan', for all those who want to know. Image is blurry coz it is difficult to stand still when a) U r dancing and b) When about a gazillion people are dancing around you.

Engelberg at 7:00 in the morning.

The view from one of them Hotel Rooms.

Rendering...

As promised...

2005-11-25T10:32:00.000+01:00

As promised here are a few pics...(courtesy my friend's digi-cam)

Snow everywhere

View from my office window

Another view

Involve...

The White World...

2005-11-25T10:16:00.000+01:00

Continuing the post on snow fallin here....it did snow here today....and snowed big time...about 3 inches of snow...And it looks cool....I do not want to rewrite all the stuff that I had done on the previous post.....but sufficed to say that the view is excellent...will try to post a few pics of the scene here if I am able to...Till then its just me and the whiteness...

Ecstatic...

Deja vu...

2005-11-21T12:46:00.000+01:00

It Snowed today...in itself that fact is not that amazing....what's thrilling and ecstatic is that I saw snow (in person) for the first time after 15-odd years. Again that is not amazing in itself but the fact that I personally am pretty pleased with being an Eskimo than a Hawaiian makes up for it.

The thing is that I like the cold weather...and especially when it snows...makes u feel like a part is heaven is being passed on to us...everything is white...pure...unmixed and people want to be warm...

Although it sounds too utopian to think that these words actually mean anything coz a snow day is just another day...but makes me feel like there is beauty in this world and there are things that can cheer up a person no matter how down or out he/she is...just like a baby's touch...or a friendly smile...makes me feel wonderful...and so does the feeling you get when soft snow touches your skin...you shrivel but the feeling is so great that you want to feel it...again and again...

Wonder...

Stuck...

2005-10-25T16:17:00.000+02:00

Its amazing how sometimes we wonder of what all wonderful things we could do with our time if only we had it. It is amazing sometimes how you wish that you had just that one more moment of time for yourself and then think of the things that you would do with that moment...

Strangely enough this never works...it never happens...you never "have" the time...It is always some important meeting or that one more minute of sleep...contrasting ways of letting time pass and then gruelling about the lack of it...

It is even more confusing when you have all the time in the world but nothing to do with it...Simply you are too deeply imbibed with the routine of the day that even getting some free time out of it creates a bit of a situation.What to do with this time now? Where to go? Who to call? What to do? And then simply it starts getting painstakingly crampy if you do not have anyone or anything to spend the time...Its simple yet very powerful on how routine can govern our lives.

The time you get up...the things you do then...the bus you take...the place you sit in the bus...the place you get down and walk to the destination...the people you see...the things you can feel around...the things to do...its all a routine...a constantly recurring phenomenon that just does not go away and it is so powerful that in the absence of the routine nothing seems to make sense...we wait and ponder on when the routine is going to be back...to throw us around...It comes back and so do the cravings for free time...

Ironic...

Creatures of Light

2005-10-21T13:14:00.000+02:00

An endless trek...up the path of time...changing every passing moment...giving highs and lows...signifying "nothing".

Doers do their best to stay on track and those who do not stray away only to be ravaged and pillaged by the unknown terrain...sticking to the track makes sense in this way but it means that everything becomes monotonous and predictable...means the trek loses its sparks...means "nothing".

It does not always give you whyt you want but takes you tentalizingly close to it...so close that you feel "good"...but then you realise that what you were chasing all this time was a "mirage"...a mirage, of dreams, of hopes and endless contentment...but it goes away as the sick cycle ends...you are back on the trail and so is another mirage for you to chase...Putting a meaning to all this is difficult but it makes an ironic kind of sense for some to play this game of cat and mouse...something to keep you occupied...something to stop you from thinking about other routes...

Life is like that sometime...an endless figment...a desire, a craving of having something that is evading you...having something that you do not have and not wanting something that you do...The trail is yours but you do not want to follow it or more as well the trail does not want you to desert it...but you want a change...a new beginning...to an end that is just as sick as twisted as life itself.

Grudge...

Life has become a hell hole

2005-09-20T18:38:00.000+02:00

The title sez it all, life has become a hell hole. I have cut off from everything that I held dear and near. I have not gamed in ages like I used to do every single minute. I no longer drive...sigh...and I no longer live the day. Work has caught up and it has made me a sick twisted workaholic...thing I hate most is that it takes me away from everything else...everything single damn thing.

If u do work u know what i am taking about and if u do not yet, then good for u. Makes sense to have all your time for you...and not for some sick fucking moron running a company who u do not know and who just pays u a shitty amount of greens to sit in front of a screen and type your life away...

For a moment it is good, for a moment it seems like 'yeah'...but slowly everything else moves into the background...every single damn thing...things that u thought were ur life and soul are now forgotten...

U forget how soothing it was to just lie down and wonder how to plan your next quake team deathmatch...or just drive around with no specific place to go....to just hum away all ur troubles or kick some serious alien ass when you are mad at something that happenned during the day...

Well life was so much cooler than...and now it is like a damn vegetable soup...day in and day out.

Dayz go by...

2005-08-18T10:54:00.000+02:00

Long time...a very long time indeed. I have been busy all this time so I could not post any posts (!!!). But now that I have a breather, I can post a post (!!!!!!!!!! Wassup with me!!!)....

So, I have been travelling all this time. I went down to Switzerland...Zurich to be precise. Stayed there for about 16 days, place called Oerlikon. Damn neat place. Cool weather, hepp crowd, fast bikes, neat cars....name it and it was there....needless to say I was impressed, damn impressed.

And I was not holidaying....I was there on work related stuff. So, although I did not get to go around much, I did venture around a bit. Some neat shopping joints like IKEA, MediaMarkt, Carrefour....MediaMarkt is like a stinkingly large place with just one thing...electronics....It is very difficult to go there and not wind up broke on ur way out....

Besides these, just walked around and looked. Harleys, Titans, Sports, there were lots of them. But the most ecstatic moment was touching a Lambo....yep, Lamborghini Murcilego....damn is that a fine car or what !!! You have to see that car atleast once....Think its gonna be a long time before we see one here....Besides this masterpiece of a car, I saw a lot of Porsche, Boxter, Carrera GT, 911, Renault, Alfa Romeo, Toyota, Ford, Cherokee....whew.......

While I was there, Mangal Pandey was premeiring at Locarno, not very far from Zurich...But I was too busy to make it there and besides it was late at night....so well....next time.....

But I missed the best deal...There is a Monster truck Jam in Zurich, Messe Hallenstadion (to be precise !!!) in September. 23rd if I remember right...Man, I hope I am there for that. Would give anything for that....

Well, was a nice experience...considering it was a short one and I didn't have much spare time....will make it up on my next trip ;)

Me? Understand? Nope?

2005-02-22T14:51:00.000+01:00

I sometimes don’t understand the way people behave. Especially people in high places. I don’t understand the thought process. It doesn’t make much sense to me. I see beings that only are brilliant but also really good at heart…and also some who I can't understand. They are good at what they do. But I feel a strange kind of vibe whenever I try to get close. They just push away at the slightest things. Makes me wonder if life’s just for that…if that’s all that they wanna do with theirs…

I can't understand how beings can be in constant touch and not share…thoughts…ideas… It doesn’t calculate…doesn’t explain itself…sometimes makes me sick. Sometimes makes me feel like running away from all this ugliness. But then, why should I run away from them. Someday they will realize what they are missing and that day, I will be there…waiting…waiting for the look that they give me when I am still there after all their efforts to make me go away…when I refuse to give up no matter what…when I just don’t quit…just simply don’t quit.

The World thru the looking glass

2005-02-09T16:45:00.000+01:00

I sometimes wonder if this is the life that we strive so hard for…if this is all of it…if this is the one thing that people will do anything for. I don’t get it sometimes, how people can want something so much that they don’t care what they’re giving in return.

I don’t understand the end of the bargain that we hold up. We give, we lose, we get nothing…We sweat, we waste, we die, we get nothing…We love, we hate, we want, we get nothing. We desire, we aim, we crib, and we get nothing. Doesn’t seem all that fair to me…does it?

I guess that there should be something that this life gives us. Something in return…something that would make all this worthwhile…something at least. I don’t know how it evens up…how all the zeroes make the one? Maybe, just maybe…it is not the life…but the things that it brings up with it. The things that it brings into our routines…the people…the places…the moods…the moments…the rushes…the senses…all of what we want, more and more.

But why? What is the point? What moves on never comes back but still we lie in the same place wondering when that bandwagon will stop again and bring us the things that we miss so dearly…things that make us hold on…we wait…we wait…and wait…until something else comes along…and life succeeds once again in doing what it does best….show us “the” finger.

In the most blunt ways…at all times that it can…it shows us that it owns us…our being… that it doesn’t care…not at all…not even a bit. For what it wants is for us to live it…whether we want to…or not. Makes no damn sense to live it then…but we still do and do all that it wants us to do…want in all the ways…ask the exact same questions…take the exact same path…seems like a story sometimes…only that in this one…the reader and the listener are both the same…just that someone else writes it…and makes the most of it…makes the most of “us”.

Don’t know why, how, when, where, till what and since when…but do know that it is not going to change, the same drag…the same games that we play…the same lines…the same cliché…every time….Looking glass, isn’t it? We see thru, and we find “us” on the other side…looking back…expecting that someday…someday…it wont be the same reflection…the same image…sometime…it will change…it will move and give way…

Seems like its going to be a long one…a long one indeed.

Lately...

2005-01-05T15:08:00.001+01:00

Its been quite some time since I did this but lets see if I still can....

Dont know why, after all these days, I felt like coming here and saying something...I guess I have not been idle for some time now. Being at work is interesting...One, you dont have time to think about the meaningless falacies of life n all..., Second, it makes some sense out of an otherwise worthless drag called life...and finally you get satisfaction...of finally being able to do something and being noticed for it...

I know it also means that you keep moving further and further away...from what people call "the social life"...but, honestly, "whatever !". I guess sometimes it is just better that it is this way instead of being the highway...

Sometimes I wish if I could just forget about everything else besides what I like...but I know it cant be...it wont be....even if I most dearly wished for it...

Conquistador

2004-11-25T12:29:00.000+01:00

It has been said:

" The only people who can do it are those who think they can."

I believed that I could and I did. Means a lot to me. It was high time that I got to where I am. Makes me feel................Believe in me................in what I can do.......................in what all I can acheive...........................doesnt seem so hard afterall.

Started slow but I did push.................and I toiled................but this is just the beginning.................just a scratch on the surface..................much needs to be done.................and do I shall...........................wait just a little while.....................you'll know.

Bright side

2004-11-18T12:50:00.000+01:00

Its been a lot of pessimism these past few posts. There is a brighter side of life that sometimes we do not look at. It is there, for all of us to see and feel...to experience. There are good things in life. Things that u care about not because u have to but because u want to and no matter what happens...no matter what u go thru, u still care.

And care u should. Something must be there that u want to have, so badly that u'd do anything for it and no matter what happens, u stick to it, in rain or pain......you do not forget. It came to me while I was wondering that to have someone so special gives u a direction, and life does not seem so meaningless and dragging after all. Seems like you are wanted, cared for, and liked.

Doesn't mean that u go and find that someone and if u do not have that u don't have nothing. Just that even if u feel that there is no one like that, If u look around hard enough, u will find some hearts warmed by your presence, those who care for u without any demands and want u to be........happy. Yes, there are such someones for each and everyone of us.

There is much more to life than just all the hate and guilt and the drag we go thru, there is much much more to feel, to share, to see, to believe, but we just have to know when to look and where to look. The feeling of wind touching ur face, raindrops dripping off ur forehead, a little angel holding ur finger so it doesnt fall, hearing the sweet tune that u missed for so long, driving out to that spot with that special someone and being there..........just being there.

And all these...........make it all worth it..........make u want to stay.................make life worth living.

There and back again...

2004-11-17T11:53:00.000+01:00

And the world does go around. Comes back and hits you when you least expect it. I do not know whether it is me or if it is this world, but something is definitely not right. I feel it, everyday, dragging on with me like that evil twin that you wish u never had, but its meant to be there with u. Don't really know why or how or when but it does cause a lot of things to happen, ones u do want to and the ones u most certainly dont.

Sometimes, I feel like i am in a cage and all those prowling eyes around me are just waiting for that one wrong move.It is just a matter of time when we'll find out who'll blink first ?

To someone over the fence, it seems so perfect and so quiet. But only the inmate knows that life here aint a walk in the park. You will get hit, you will face loads of crap, but you cant quit.

But why in the name the one should you take it? why? why cant u just give it all up and do what you want to do? Be with the ones you want to be with? Why? Why not?

Why cant i just move on with me? Why do I have to put up with the fallacies of the world? With the facade that it exhibits? Why cant I just get up and lay the smacketh down on everything i despise?

I guess it is just the chains that we have tied ourselves in. The binds that we cant break. The binds of love, of relationships, of companionship, of respect, of...fear
of losing all that we hold dear.

Damn you creator, for putting me in this jinx, now all i can do is bear it...atleast till it can go on.

its a drag !!!

2004-11-16T15:24:00.000+01:00

knowing where u been in life and then u see urself now........how do u think it figures that this is what u have been wanting to do, wanting to be here and all u ever thought was it is gonna be good. but i think it is just that we are all so busted up from what has led to this that we r not able to see that which truly lies in this for us.........an oppurtunity to prove to us ......... what we can be and all that we can acheive.........its all out there , we just need to be strong enough to be in our frames when the time comes for us, its not what we are but who we are that is gonna tell where we go........we can drown us in booze and never look up and then we can party out all night but be there when it happens.......to hold it all for all to see and to prevail...............I will be there.........will u ???

It all comes back...

2004-11-12T08:27:00.000+01:00

The same feeling..........of Deja-vu........or is it really back......all that u spent ur life looking for.....it was here all the time and now that u r not here.....it lies smack in front of u....asking u if the one who was missing all this time was it.....or u?

It is all so familiar, but the similarities cease to exist as soon as u get close.......its a different time......a different glass u are looking through........yet it all seems so familiar.......the smells, the feel, the look, the people..........not all of it is so good though..........

confusin and anarchy prevails........and u ask this question.....was this the life that u wanted so bad or is it the price u pay for not looking at what u had with u in ur hands when it was there?......

Life goes on...

2004-11-05T01:45:00.000+01:00

It seems so usual and so ordinary that we can be all that we are........seems like a dream.......a waking dream.

Out of nowhere, a thought comes and screams the hell out of your own conscience, asking you to think about what can no longer be so simple. Something that could never have been, for we never looked at the possibility of this happenning.

But now it is upon us, and we are here with nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, just here. Now.

So what to do...who to call...where is the messiah? Why now ?

the beginning

2004-10-27T13:51:00.000+02:00

In the beginning there were men, mere mortal souls, consumed by desires, pain, the agony of being ordinary.

Simple, how life works, u live, u die, u get up, u lie down, however in the simplicity of life lies the intricacy of it.

Intrigue, deceit, hate, surrounds us, fills the air around and yet we have the drive which pushes us, towards the horizon.

I am not the one, for I do not intend to be.

There and back again